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Athena: Mars In Pompeii

4/1/2020

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QUICK UPDATE
With another week down, Unfeathered Ink is making progress on its publishing goals. Today, I've chosen and acquired design and publisher software! That means layout for Athena will start on time and maybe even early. There's a lot to learn about the programs and becoming an indie publisher; I suppose it's good that I am nerdy for research and enjoy being a lifelong learner. Ha! Knowing that this new phase of experience won't just benefit the final product of Athena, but every project we work on for other poets and authors in the future is keeping me focused and driven through the chaos that is 2020 so far. I hope each of you are finding what you need to thrive in our present 'normal'. Wishing you all strength and resilient health!

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IT'S MARS & ARIES SEASON!
This year, April Fools has felt a little eerie. Many seem to be choosing their words and trickery carefully, and for good reason. Humanity is experiencing a complete imbalance of everything it knows. So, let's close out this April 1st with another errand of the fool, a love poem.

A FEW NOTES ABOUT THE MYTHOLOGY
  • Mars: Roman God of War. Agricultural guardian.
  • Minerva: Roman equivalent of Athena. Daughter of Jupiter and Metis.
  • Ana Perenna: Goddess of the 'eternal year'.


Mars in Pompeii by Melody Norton

Sip after sip
Wine is flowing through me
Sweet lava coursing my veins
Like the roads of Pompeii
Incense burning
Smokey air
The kind we spent so much time in
I can’t help but think of you

Thankfully

My mind trickles back
In time
To many times before
Cataloged memories
Me, luring you with my mischief
My best Minerva
Ready to be a freestyle on your lips
Tonight, like many nights before
To have the moisture of your kiss dance upon my skin

I sometimes close my eyes and imagine
Me painting your body with my words
Fingertips grazing over the pastures of your existence
Trembling with poetry I have not yet written
Giving with my craft
To you

You have phased in and out of my reality
A dreamy and distorted reflection
Of the kind of love
I want to exist in

We have loved on the sands of different coasts
Consoled one another from several time zones
Found ourselves neighbors
Still, conflicts of the ram
Overwhelm our odds
At worst we are stubborn
At best, we are just Ordinary People
Whose remnants are captured
Under the moon
In the Temple of Jupiter

No matter how hard we willed it
I’ll always be more your Ana Perenna
than your Minerva
Despite all the times I’ve turned away
And meant it
Perhaps we were just fools

But oh, Mars
Honor me by worshiping the way I reset time when we touch

Sip after sip
From an oversized glass
Leading back to consuming thoughts of you
Leaving me wanting
to be free-flowing,
Cultivated of rhythm and intensity
That somehow matched both
The volcanic pulsing and bass of your heartbeat

I try not to get lost on the endless paths of what-if’s
Exhausting journeys
For you could not extend your virtue into building us

We had a love like the ruins
Timeless
Studied
Ancient
We had a love
That I now call Pompeii

Rich with an essence that couldn’t survive
nature and war
We ended on a white sand beach
Just not the way we imagined
It’s all history and ashen
Dusty journals
Buried expectations
Delicately aged
Left to wither
Like iron
In the atrium
In the House of the Tragic Poet
Next to the ghost of our last dance


See last week's poem & video:
Alala by Melody Norton

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Athena: Alala

3/26/2020

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Athena, my debut book is in its final month of the writing and editing phase. It's been really hard to let this book come to an end but time is passing and emotionally ready or not, I'm kicking it out of the nest. During the week of May 30th, I will be polishing finished works for the book and wrapping up the following:
  • Dedication
  • Introduction
  • Author Bio 
  • Glossary (mythology & history reference)​​


​
​To celebrate,

I am releasing

one poem a week

on
YouTube

& IGTV
!  

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This week's featured reading is Alala, a poem full of rising, ceremony, and survival. Honoring the experience, trials, and energies that have built me. A tribute to the goddesses of war and warriors everywhere. Be wild! 

Alala: "War-cry." The female personification on the war-cry, and an attendant of Ares. Pindar mentions her as the daughter of Polemus.
​(from the Encyclopedia Mythica)


Alala by Melody Norton

Now
In the stillness of the storm
I am lost
With no tragedy to tend to
No order-given mission to accomplish
No traumatic experience to survive
No crisis to avert
No hardship to rise above
And I don’t know what to do

I am exhausted
Feeling worn
Carrying the strife of Nirrti
For I am not whole

I need
to process all that I have
experienced
suffered
endured
survived

Give aid
to the residual infections
which have not yet been remedied
So I can do as I was trained
Adapt and overcome
In a way that builds me
From my pain
From the ashes
From what remains

Write it all down
The way I walked in
Full of blind faith
that Zorya would guide me
The sun my northern star
Behind her gates
With dawn, I’d rest beneath her protection

My perseverance shining bright
Reflected in the swords of myself and others
who owe gratitude to Marishiten

As I pen this
I approach my next phase with plea
because I only know how to pray in my poetry  
and I am in desperate need
of a war-cry
As medicinal
while I’m phasing back into the world
as it was fierce
going into the field

This is the pivot point
Where Kali lay me in her arms
Whispering
Change is on the way

Lace this ceremony with magic and Northern Lights
Leading me to the lighthouse
Making my body a safe house
Echoing with the humming
of leather-bound bass
I howl with the lifeblood of the wild 
Sounds of the green hills
The hollers of my ancestors
from battles past
Worlds apart
Drenched by the salty waters
they shared
That carry sailing tributes
engulfed in flames
in honor of my passing
Mourning
the parts of me that will never return
In the hope that least my soul is revived
Allowing me another chance
in this life

I need this
I need to sing through the rage
Breath stolen by the shrieks of Agasaya
before she evolved
into Ishtar and grew to know love
Xuannu (the Mysterious Lady) knighted me with her magic
May my beloved learn the difference between how I kiss
when I am sorry, when I am in heat, and when I harbor pain

I need dances
spirted by my Roman image
Healing dances
that connect me
Body and drums
Body
between ground and sky
Healing
between sacral and crown

Record
the way I dance off beat
The way I sing in the rain
The reverberation of my voice
rumbling through the valleys
Sekhmet, lead me home
to sands that match my skin
So I can stand
along the shoreline of desert lakes
Juniper breeze in my hair

Standing in the soils
Toes curled into its cool touch
Smelling the earth
Standing beside the energies
of goddesses and creatures
Whom share the anguish
Free to bare our scars
Both those
etched into our temples
and those which silently suffocate us
from the inside

Singing in perpetual canon
Carrying each other
through the riffs
And I, a humble human vessel
Drinking the wisdom of their stories
The attributes of their narratives
So that I may find myself whole
An eclectic statue of their influence
Erected to stand in virtue
Resurrected and longing to live
Forever
Like them    

There is something powerful
about the moment
when you realize
that you are the fire
inside the belly
of the beast
The rising sword

Nerio is passing the torch
Valor lives here
In my chest

When it’s all said and done
lay me in the heavenly fields of Freyja
or send me to Valhalla
Either way I rest
among fellow warriors
Without fear or pain
Blessed by Victoria
Anointed by Bast

Blessed be
my fellow goddesses of war
for all you bestow upon me

Athena
Born for battle
Though I learned and became
so much more along the way
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Writing Prompt: Mythology

3/15/2020

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Beating the Stir-crazy

This month I had my first solo poetry and journaling events scheduled to promote my upcoming book, Athena. However, like many others, I have canceled my events with a heavy heart and public health in mind. It's no secret that the Coronavirus, COVID-19, has been interrupting the world as we all know it. While positive cases are on the rise so is anxiety and uncertainty. Many of us are left with not much to do but try and maintain some sense of normalcy while becoming buried in our thoughts. As someone who has learned to channel much of my anxiety into my writing, now seems like the perfect time to try and help some of you do the same.  

Before Beginning

I invite you to partake in a meditation or a moment of stillness to clear your mind. Slowing down the noise in our heads and the trapped energy in our bodies is a good idea at anytime. Doing this before delving into creative outlets can help us focus on what needs our attention or releasing in the moment. Should you need them, here are a few of my go-to aids:​   
  • Guided Meditation: Stop, Breathe, & Think (App)
  • Meditation Frequencies:  Meditative Mind (YouTube channel) 
  • Instrumental Music: Chillhop Music (YouTube channel)

DEFINITION:

Mythology (mi-ˈthä-lə-jē)


A collection of myths, especially one belonging to a particular religious or cultural tradition
Visit Ancient History Encyclopedia's page on Mythology for an in-depth summary.


Intro

What's also not a secret? My love of mythology, fantasy, history, and culture. I am eternally thankful to the worlds of poetry, literature, music, and drama. For these mediums not only keep these topics alive and accessible, they also meld them into fantastical art and expression.

The following is based on a poetry workshop I led last fall(?) with Connect & Heal, an organization that has helped me grow by encouraging me to step outside of myself and share my voice with others. I hope this prompt helps some of you channel what you're feeling; whether it be about the current pandemic or emotions you've been harboring on a more personal matter. While I almost always write poetry, this is not a rule! Experiment with your thoughts and voice to find what sets you free. Some other options you can toy with include journaling, letters, lists, short stories, dialog, or go ahead and brainstorm for that novel you've been meaning to write. Just do what comes most naturally and enjoy the journey!    

Approaching with Bias

​Mythology is commonly perceived in two ways.

1. Negatively. As in being outdated, overused, or cliché. For the purposes of this prompt, let's assume that you don't believe this. Or at the very least, in this moment, agree that these opinions don't serve us. 

2. Positively. Which is clearly my vote, for whatever that's worth. ​There's a reason mythology and the symbolism tied to it is beloved by writers, artists, musicians, and the masses. It's extensive and culturally diverse. It's relatable, especially if you have a flare for the dramatic or metaphoric. Within its realm there is room for the lovers, the warriors, the lonely, the holy, the mystical, the wicked, the respected, the feared, and even the unknown. It's easy to take myth and turn it into a lesson learned, an adventure lived, a moment memorialized, or a future still being dreamt. There. Doesn't that sound more inspiring?  

Examples 

To get a feel for the process and range, I have provided some selections to read and watch before you dive into some writing all your own. Keep in mind that although these are all poetry, you are never limited to any writing style.

Elegy for Pandora
Because you are like me — a woman scorned,
defined by your mistakes, a woman whose
mistakes hurt others, whose otherness has turned
her speechless — you know the story’s other side:
God made the jar. He filled it. Then, he lied:
It’s full of gifts for all mankind. Good news!
And you, in innocence, believed. You pried
it open. A host of miseries unfurled
before you slammed it shut with Hope inside,
a doughy, unarmed caterpillar curled
beneath the lip. Pandora, my body is what
I opened. Disease is what I spread. I shut
my mouth and chew on hope. It’s not about
to grow its wings. I cannot spit it out.
 - Michele Sharpe / Medium.com


Fast Facts About The Writer, Michele Sharpe:
  • Adopted
  • High school dropout
  • Hep C survivor
  • Trial attorney​
​
Exploring Pandora:

Pandora (known as the first woman)
  • Greek. Meaning "all gifts" or "all giving".
  • Unknowingly released demons which Zeus told her were gifts. 
  • Throughout the tellings she went from being a victim to being seen as dangerous and reckless.​
Modern and common lexicon
  • Jared’s PANDORA Jewelry line focuses on earlier versions of the myth where the belief was that the jar/box was filled with gifts; evidence of Pandora’s innocence.
  • The phrase, “opening Pandora’s box.” Used as both a statement and a question inducing contemplation or indicating curiosity, the unknown, or heeded as a warning.
  • In the Hellraiser series, Clive Barker embraced the darker side of the myth with his use of the fictional Lemarchand’s Box, which opens up another dimension full of darkness and evil.       

Spoken Word Videos
  • ​Who Am I by Kayo:  Talks of his life with a focus on spirituality and history as if he is defining himself as a living legend or myth.
  • I Am No God by iCon: Shows how myth, ceremony, and the power of belief can be used to harness our emotion when coping with trauma.
  • Tropical Depression by Julissa Emile: Speaks of her depression and feminist beliefs through the deep rooted history of magic in afro-Caribbean culture.  

Prompts (Take Notes)

Self Reflection
  • What is most on your mind in this moment?
  • What have you been holding on to?
  • What do you think is holding you back from your current goals?
  • What problems are you currently trying to solve?
  • How are you feeling right now (i.e. calm, sad, comical, angry, etc.)?
  • How do you prefer to communicate (i.e. directly or through figurative speech)?
  • Are there places you feel drawn to or compelled to visit, read about or watch on t.v./in movies?
​
Getting To Know Mythology
  • How can you translate myth into relatable content?
  • What stories of mythology do you know?
  • What’s your favorite use of mythology?
  • Have you ever felt connected to a character or being from myth?​

​Finding Someone Or Something You Identify With
Search the internet for:
  • Common traits (i.e. creative, forgiving, loyal, chaotic, fierce)
  • Myths related to your favorite element (i.e. earth, fire, water, air)
  • Something you would like to have; a power or tool of the gods/goddesses. What would you do with it?
    • The nurturing of an Earth goddess like Gaia
    • Poseidon’s ability to manipulate water and storms
    • Thor’s hammer
  • Cultures, locations or regions of interest. Check out this map for reference!

Get Writing! 

Remember to be patient with yourself. Whether you are a new or seasoned writer, the process and exploration involved can range from fun and freeing to emotional and overwhelming. It's okay to take breaks or to take a week to finish. It's also perfectly acceptable to write through tears or rage write your thoughts and toss it out or burn it (responsibly) when you're done. For pleasure or therapy, I hope you enjoy!
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Athena: Book Development & Title Poem Debut

2/24/2020

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Now on Presale

I have spent the last several years transcribing notes from napkins, old journals, running text messages to my self, and sporadically placed post-its. Cataloging the chaos that has become a dysfunctional system for me in my 30's has been an ongoing effort. I've stressed over how to categorize, unify, and present hundreds of poems, prose, and partially thought out ideas. After some lighthearted counsel with one of my absolute oldest friends, I decided how I wanted them organized but still struggled with revisions and dividing them from the chronological order in which they were written, as I can be a little compulsive. I'm sure those who know me well are riddled with surprise. The one thing I've been absolutely sure of, is that each book will be titled after a goddess, encompassing their attributes, symbolism, and stories of which I connect with. As I was preparing to enter a chapbook contest, I found myself weighed down by the pressure of writing a title poem for book one (of five), Athena.

As it turned out, Athena was the poem I didn’t know I needed. The poem that absolutely had to be written in order for me to understand who I am now and for me to be comfortable publicly laying claim to my existence as a writer. Completing Athena redefined what I wanted for my book and for who I want to be as a published writer. This has led to hours of extended research and rewrites well spent. That said, I never made the contest deadline, and much of what I started with (a modest 30 page chapbook) has been heavily reworked and is transforming into the full length manuscript I've conjured in dreams and planned on vision boards over the years. My memories and experience delivered in poetry. Delivered as myth, magic, fairytale, fiction, history, and culture, yet still -  as nothing but my reality and it's many transformations and stages of life.   

The women in my family are born with equal parts tenacity and tenderness, may their eternal love continue to guide, forge, and comfort me. Without further ado, for the women that made me and the woman they've made me into, I present, Athena.   

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From left to right: My mother (Maritza), My great-grandmother (Flora), my grandmother (Maria), & baby me.

Athena

I come from a line of women rooted in legends of myth.
I stand here a mosaic of symbolism and virtue.
A biological structure composed of lure.
Crafted with the threads of goddesses and mothers
from places I’ve never seen outside of my fantasies.
 
I kneel to be crowned in a halo of orange blossoms
and braided wheat. She said,
just for me, her Tiger Lily.
Destined to be sweet and victorious.
And I imagined myself
riding through Mount Olympus in a chariot
with her ghost by my side.
I, a ready warrior for battles I didn’t see coming.     
 
My mother, her name was Maritza.
And though its bounty was worth its weight
in the iron of my spear,
she never understood what I loved about it.
 
Her name means of the sea.
You see? I am the daughter of Metis.
Born to bare the thunder of Zeus.
Despite her absence now,
she is the wisdom he and I carry.
Our most trusted counsel.
 
Since the day I sprouted,
armored and full of fight,
when I see the ocean,
I take a moment to be still.
Waves and ripples coming towards me.
A fluid field of turquoise shades of blues and greens.
And I feel her abundant love.
I stand here before you,
because I read Metis my ramblings as a child,
and she called it art.
 
In Spanish and in life,
she and her name were an alteration of her maker, Maria.
Every cell hand stitched with her mother’s modesty,
patience, and attention.
Leaving me the proud grand-daughter
of the Titan Tethys.
 
Reigning star dust,
I am the great-grand daughter of Gaia, herself.
A perfect host goddess for our very own Flora.
And from her gifts and provisions,
we all received the cinnamon of our skin. And the grit
to nurture those, we love
through the pains of mortal life.    
 
I have spent most of my life
drawn to the desert
with no real reason why. Perhaps,
it was the rumors
that I am really the daughter of Poseidon and Tritonis.
 
Perhaps I was in search of Libya
when I found refuge in the sands
which hold up mountains in the name
and in mercy, of Atlas.

Perhaps I just longed for my forefathers of war
whose blood still lives in the sands of Tripoli.
 
Or maybe the salts of Lake Tritonis is a route
for my travel between worlds.
This river of the Triple Queens.
Making me maiden to the serpent.
Risen from mother’s waters.
Medusa as my crone.
 
No matter the version you chose,
or I tell.
The women before me were mighty.
Together we are a tapestry
still being dovetail woven over time.
But my era is just beginning.
All of this? This is just a fragment
of the mosaic of me.
Of the earth, the nymph, and the warrior in me.
Of the goddess in me.

(Athena: Title poem for my debut book coming soon!)

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Las Tres Madres by Maria Salazar. Click image to follow her Instagram. This piece debuted at Salazar's first solo exhibit, Metamorphosis!

This post would not be complete without acknowledging my sister in arms, Maria Salazar, and her amazing art. Thank you for your continued support and limitless creativity! 

While we worked on our crafts individually we found they are fated to compliment one another. Pictured to the left is Maria's clay sculpture (raw and unglazed), Las Tres Madres.  

​
You can also follow Maria on Facebook!
  
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Book Club: Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

2/1/2020

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Book Club Notes & Disclaimer:

Unfeathered Ink’s book club is designed to challenge what we think we know, about our selves, society, and the world around us. We aim to expand views and encourage cohesion. At some point, various participants may find certain reading selections, questions, or topics more personal than others. That said, this is a space where we respect not only shared views but those which may greatly differ from our own. Take care to be a good human above all else.

*If you are comfortable with doing so, please include your country, region, or culture of reference. Be it your own or one of study or interest. This allows us, as an online community to learn more about a people, a topic, and outside perspectives through open communication; bridging the gaps in areas where we may otherwise lack experience or exposure. 

Hateful and inappropriate comments will be deleted.

Cat's Cradle

Like most things in life that I truly enjoy, Cat’s Cradle challenges, genres, stereotypes, and personal beliefs. It’s no wonder that with Vonnegut’s complex past, that he seemed to easily pen works that uproot deeper emotions through protagonists that are often met by extreme circumstance and reason with the world around them in a way that simultaneously expresses curiosity and moral trial. Primarily categorized as science fiction and dystopian satire, we as readers will also find ourselves drawn by our connections, shared experiences, and even disagreement followed by a desire for answers to some of life and faith’s bigger questions. 

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Click image to read article by Smithsonian Magazine (photograph source).

Bio's on Vonnegut

  • Kurt Vonnegut Museum & Library
  • Biography.com/writer/kurt-vonnegut
  • Britannica.com/biography/Kurt-Vonnegut

Discussion Questions

1. On pg 49, Dr. Breed declares, “Pure research men work on what fascinates them, not on what fascinates other people.” This statement is reflected in the opinions of many others interviewed about Dr. Felix Hoenikker (a mad scientist of sorts) throughout the beginning of the book.

​When considering the role of modern-day scientists and governments, what do you feel the benefits and risks are in connection to more extreme levels of tunnel vision. How has this affected us as a society? ​

2. Jonah goes through great lengths to uncover what he can about Dr. Hoenikker; on pg 50, in a moment of what seems like misplaced frustration, Dr. Breed accuses Jonah of being a member of the “yellow press”. Yellow journalism is a term used to describe articles or publications known to overindulge in catchy headlines in lieu of thoroughly researched articles simply for the benefit of increased sales. In today’s world of endless information, thanks to the internet and saturated markets, we often now refer to this as click-bait or my less favorite connotation, fake news.

How has this constant stream of news and information jeopardized the integrity of journalism and what impact do you feel this has had on how we receive said news? For instance, I’ve noticed in many, an increase of anxiety over health concerns, government affairs, and the mistreatment of marginalized groups in an era where the truth and facts, despite also being vastly available, often come second in public consumption to 'reel-them-in with nonsense' articles. ​

3. Chapters 41-46 depict Jonah’s interactions with several new characters he encounters on the plane. With each new introduction comes identifying behaviors and traits from which we can surmise their views on topics including business and social ethics, relationship dynamics, nationalism, and capital punishment.
​
Choosing one of these interactions, analyze the beliefs of a new character (or pair of characters) and draw some comparisons and contrasts to your own views. What concerns arise? Do you find yourself favoring their opinion? What experiences have led you to think and feel this way?

3a. On p.137, Hazel expresses relief that San Lorenzo is "a Christian country". Fear of the unknown creates illogical hate & discrimination. How have you overcome this barrier when traveling or encountering cultures different from your own. How have others reacted when introduced to your culture?

3b. Crosby ties his open belief of Bokononism to his rights as an American on p.154. How has this privilege effected us ("freedom of religion" countries) as a society? How has the disillusion that some religions are seen as more patriotic than others effected the realities of citizens who practice faiths by a different name on a national and global scale?     ​

4. Another consistant happening in Cat's Cradle is Newt being undermined, underestimated, and patronized because of his hight/dwarfism; most particularly by his sister, Angela. (see example on p.111-112) Unfortunately, what Newt endures is common for those who deal with physical, medical, or mental barriers. It's widely assumed that having any form of disability is synonymous with being generally incapable. The reality is that with sensible accommodations and support many live full and rewarding lives.      

Thinking back to interactions you have had or may have with someone who belongs to this subculture: Were you accepting of their conditions and unique traits? Are there things you could have said or done to respect their abilities, views, or independence?

If you are disabled or differently abled, consider sharing:
  • an experience of your own.
  • something you would like people to realize about you and your community.
  • questions that could be asked to promote understanding or equality.

5. Throughout Cat's Cradle we are introduced to several concepts, beliefs, and ‘harmless untruths’ that construct the fictional religion/belief system that is Bokononism. Below are a few examples from the text. Consider your own religious, spiritual, universal, or science centered beliefs: 

Do the defined concepts and views of Bokononism raise questions that you have struggled with or worked through regarding your own beliefs? Do you think there can be a universal understanding that faith and fact intersect or coexist regardless of what we believe? How would that impact your current beliefs? What benefits do you think that would have on communities?

5a. While most residents publicly claim to be Christian, “everyone on San Lorenzo is a devout Bokononist…” (p.172) What do you think it says about a people or a nation that openly promotes one religion while practicing another? Thinking back on humanity's own history with religion, what lessons should or could be learned? Would you be comfortable with practicing your faith this way? Even if you are comfortable with your beliefs now, has there ever been a time in your life where you hid or minimized being open about it to appease someone else or to be more socially accepted? ​

Note:
Any open dialog and opinion on the reading is always welcome. Was there anything you would like to discuss that was not mentioned in previous questions? Let’s hear what you have to say! Drop your thoughts in the comments!   

Writing Prompts

The tail end of Cat's Cradle offers great thoughts and notions for contemplation. Write a poem (calypso), verse, lesson, letter, or essay based on one or more of the following.
  • "...someday, this will all be yours." On the gifts and trials we pass on to our children. (p.162)
  • “Maturity, the way I understand it, is knowing what your limitations are.”; “Maturity, is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” (p.198)
  • "Science is magic that works." (p.218)
  • Excerpts from this page share the idea that all religions are lies and that above all else, what is most important is doing everything we can to help others and to help them feel better even if it doesn’t align with our own beliefs. (p.219)
  • The Fourteenth Book of Bokonon: “What Can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years?” (p.245)
  • “Pro Patria” Meaning: For one's country (p.255)
  • “Each one of us has to be what he or she is.” (p.267)
  • “Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.” (p.281)


​Add your thoughts in the comments!
​If responding to a discussion question please note which # you are responding to.

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Symphony: A Dedication to Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, and the Winter Sports Clinic

2/24/2019

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​The one thing I (or anyone who knows me) could have guaranteed you before last April, was that I would never be caught dead skiing. And then, because there is always an ‘and then,’ in the fall of 2017, I received an email from the Veterans Affairs (VA) regarding an adaptive sporting event, the National Disabled Veterans Winter Sports Clinic (WSC). The WSC is an annual week-long event in Snowmass Village, Co held by the VA and Disabled American Veterans (DAV) which is supported by dozens of incredible volunteers and sponsors.

​This wasn’t just an average event for me, it would change the way I saw myself. It would expand the perimeter of limitations which had previously been set by my body and mind. I qualified for this event because of a traumatic brain injury (TBI) from some time ago, but it’s not the only disability of mine that felt liberated by my experience in Snowmass. Chronic pain and migraines, nerve pain, PTSD, depression, and more, all of the issues that often consumed
me, they felt like typical everyday obstacles that week instead of feeling like torment cementing me to stillness. Brief backstory: When I attended this event, I had been back on my feet part time for little over a year after having been nearly house bound from the severity of my pain and accompanying troubles for two and half years.
Melody&Betsey_WSC2018
Me with my amazing volunteer instructor, Betsey. Thank you for always cheering for me both on and off the powder! See you soon!
I was terrified! Of making my injuries worse, of aggravating progress made in physical therapy, of doing something new, of the weight of the equipment, of the crowds and unfamiliar surroundings, of being away from my son, of all of it. I traveled to Colorado with a small group of veterans from Phoenix whom this was not their first rodeo and I would meet others upon arrival who fast became friends. Friends who are stuck with me now. From the moment I arrived, I felt nothing short of immediate acceptance. I didn’t have to justify or explain my long list of issues, how I was feeling, or stress how much it affects me day to day. We were all there to step out of our normal struggles, renew our spirits, and support one another, unwaveringly.  

​With the guidance of my fellow veterans, some amazing volunteers, and cargo pockets full of faith and a little bit of, “screw it, how much worse can I get,” I geared up and hit the snow with my instructor, Betsey. She was patient and encouraging, full of spirit and guidance. All of the things I hadn’t been with myself in far too long. From the moment we hit the mountain it was magic. My boots and skis practically carried me and for the first time in over 10 years I felt weightless. My body wasn’t riddled with stress and pain. The never-ending tree lines seemed to oxygenate my worries right out of my very being. It wasn’t just therapy for my physical pain but my mental anguish as well. I shared that to share this…
​
I realized the importance of what I had gained. Learning to ski with the WSC successfully and positively altered how I view my mental health, my physical abilities, and myself. While the WSC is designed for veterans with designated disabilities, this same camaraderie is seen throughout other programs and sub-communities all over the world. Regardless of who your tribe is or the cultures you identify with, support and kinship are out there. It was an experimental process that led me towards accepting and embracing the things I am still capable of. Putting in the work and taking risks, lead me to the realization that adaptive sports just so happens to be one of my tribes. Learning this has been an invaluable asset to my self-care and the future I am building.
A note about Symphony:
   I started writing Symphony after a late-night conversation with a dear friend and fellow Marine. He was grieving and processing the loss of a childhood friend and fellow Marine who had committed suicide. He and I had shared calls like these before. Too often. 22 veteran suicides a day and rising.
​   Symphony is dedicated to all of those whose battles never ended, for the minds that have difficulty resting, for those feeling attacked by their physical health, for those that feel alone, for those who are having trouble connecting with the world and themselves. Whether you are a veteran, a caretaker, or someone who has struggles lingering from your own experiences, Symphony is for you. You are not alone.


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These ceramic combat boots by USMC veteran and artist, Maria Salazar, are a heartfelt tribute to all service members who have lost their lives in combat. You can follow her work & upcoming exhibits on FB: @ofArtnSoul & IG: @of_artnsoul

Symphony

​Many nights
​I wish​ 
I could write a symphony

Strong enough to overcome the demons of my past
Beautiful enough to heal my pain
Enraged enough to settle my scores
Calm enough to soothe my soul
 
I wish I could write a symphony
One longer than the Nile
With enough stamina to climb the highest summits
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That could sing my secrets
Through those coded notes
Lyric-less
Tip-tapping in Morse code
On what was once an innocent
And unknowing page
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That cures tragic days
That travels with me
A ready companion
When I want to run away
 
I wish I could write a symphony
Cunning enough to convince me to stay
Aiding in my recollection
Of all the times music saved the day
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That doesn’t bother preaching
Forgive and forget
But rather just lets me feel
What it is that flows through my veins
The 60,000 miles of bleeding ink
That keeps me sane
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That loves me right
At any minute
Of any hour
Of any day 
​Always ready to comfort
The most stubborn
And the most troubled
The most arrogant
And the most wanting
Parts of me
 
A symphony
That lets me cry without judging
Or reminding me
Of the unbroken spirit
I used to be
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That is capable of melting
All of the ice-cold walls
That have been built
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That would make Beethoven’s ghost whisper my name
 
And, well...
I wish I could write a symphony
That could be a cure-all
 
I wish I could write a symphony
For me
 
On most days
 
But today
During your trying times
 
I wish I could write a symphony
And play it
Just for you





​
​*While Symphony is debuting on my blog, it will be found in my upcoming book of poetry,
Athena. More info coming soon! ​

Resources for those in need:

*Veteran Crisis Line 
1-(800) 273-8255 (press 1)
Online live chat available

*National Suicide Prevention Lifeline**
1-(800) 273-8255
Online live chat available.
**Available links and designated information for specific cultural groups, including: Youth, loss survivors, Spanish speakers, disaster survivors, LGBTQ+, Native Americans, attempt survivors, and the deaf/hearing impaired. 
​

*International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)
Click here for an interactive map that allows you to search by continent for the closest crisis center!


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​Not Verbally Artistic: A Fostered Love of Words

12/14/2016

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     When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I read Stone Fox and Tigers Eye cover to cover a hundred times easy. Lying on my bedroom floor, in the backseat of the car, in the booths of restaurants, in waiting rooms, in the dugout at softball practice. The way those stories made me feel forever changed the way I saw the magic of words and they morphed my innocent little-girl dreams into vivid action-packed movies with daring characters who were never afraid to feel the full range of emotions that whirl winded within them.

     Perhaps my story with words goes back further than that. I'm sure it was equally fostered by the hours spent in my mother's lap watching while she read Stephen King, John Grisham, and other novelists. Studying her face as it reacted to the gore, mystery, and suspense she indulged in. I remember wondering what could be written on those pages that kept her so focused and ready to pick up another book as soon as the last chapter ended. It was also my first lesson in learned behavior: I was her little monkey and I was determined to one day know what all of the fuss was about. And indeed, I did. So much so that reading was no longer enough for me.  

     I wrote my first book in 2nd grade, another in 3rd, and before I knew it a new love was born. I wasn't just passionate about reading, but also about writing. Maybe even more so. I couldn't quite tell. While my grade school era stories weren't very intricate or impressive, I saw myself in them and I still do. I also saw my favorite parts of the people I love tucked away in the bodies of my characters. I had unintentionally tied my two worlds together without realizing it. It dawned on me that I could use my experiences, environment, and perspective to create a whole new world filled with whatever I desired. Whatever I needed to release at the time. And It was all made possible with the simple beauty that is words.
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     I don't consider myself verbally artistic. Never in the history of me have I had an eloquent quip at just the right moment. What I want to say during an argument normally doesn't rush to me until the moment has passed. When people speak to me about their feelings and emotions, I awkwardly freeze with discomfort. Sure, I'm snarky, sarcastic, a little off center, and I do find the way my speech often fumbles, to be a personal charm. None the less, it's writing where I discover how I really feel, what my aspirations truly are, how I'll interpret my dreams, as well as how I paint the canvas of my desires, hopes, love, hate, rage, etc. 
I suppose that my verbal genius is buried somewhere with any potential for musical talent. And while they are both something I wish I possessed, I am at ease with the fact that written word has always saved me. Saved me from my own thoughts, allowed me to creatively express myself, given me a professional edge through the years, motivated me to embrace higher education, hell, even my love of lyrics, poetry, screenwriting, and research. It all comes from my fascination with the endless ways we can manipulate words.

     We all share the same words and are only separated by the diversity of intent and inflection by way of region and culture. We have the option to be nomadic with words through language, film, and music. But what helps separate us, our intent, our sentiments, the roots of our expression…is how we each manipulate words to identify what we mean, want, and think. I have spent a lot of time harboring my thoughts and the piles of pages I have written like I have everything to lose by sharing them. Now, I am on the dawn of change. Ready to turn my next page.

     So, while I'll likely never pick up a guitar and fulfill my dream of turning my poetry into songs that fill my soul with sound and express the deepest caverns that hollow through me, I will continue to admire the work of so many others and humbly put my own artistic contributions out into the universe. Being thankful for what I do have, my own passionate and thoughtful relationship with words. What I have come to realize is that I have been repeatedly healed and understood by the words of others that I come across and I am only limiting myself and feeding my fear by not releasing my own out into the world. So whether they are received lovingly or with discontent, I am done hiding them in the shadows of my desk and filing cabinet. Like inevitable storms after the calm, they are coming.  ​

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    Upcoming Release:
    ​Athena​

    Follow the evolution of my 1st full length poetry manuscript, Athena, book one in a five book series. Throughout my blog you can also find writing prompts, personal book club picks, and other creative inspiration.

    I invite readers to join me in building acceptance over tolerance, overcoming adversities, engaging in thoughtful communication, & sharing their experiences/views.

    Thank you!
    - Melody Norton 
     

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