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Symphony: A Dedication to Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, and the Winter Sports Clinic

2/24/2019

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​The one thing I (or anyone who knows me) could have guaranteed you before last April, was that I would never be caught dead skiing. And then, because there is always an ‘and then,’ in the fall of 2017, I received an email from the Veterans Affairs (VA) regarding an adaptive sporting event, the National Disabled Veterans Winter Sports Clinic (WSC). The WSC is an annual week-long event in Snowmass Village, Co held by the VA and Disabled American Veterans (DAV) which is supported by dozens of incredible volunteers and sponsors.

​This wasn’t just an average event for me, it would change the way I saw myself. It would expand the perimeter of limitations which had previously been set by my body and mind. I qualified for this event because of a traumatic brain injury (TBI) from some time ago, but it’s not the only disability of mine that felt liberated by my experience in Snowmass. Chronic pain and migraines, nerve pain, PTSD, depression, and more, all of the issues that often consumed
me, they felt like typical everyday obstacles that week instead of feeling like torment cementing me to stillness. Brief backstory: When I attended this event, I had been back on my feet part time for little over a year after having been nearly house bound from the severity of my pain and accompanying troubles for two and half years.
Melody&Betsey_WSC2018
Me with my amazing volunteer instructor, Betsey. Thank you for always cheering for me both on and off the powder! See you soon!
I was terrified! Of making my injuries worse, of aggravating progress made in physical therapy, of doing something new, of the weight of the equipment, of the crowds and unfamiliar surroundings, of being away from my son, of all of it. I traveled to Colorado with a small group of veterans from Phoenix whom this was not their first rodeo and I would meet others upon arrival who fast became friends. Friends who are stuck with me now. From the moment I arrived, I felt nothing short of immediate acceptance. I didn’t have to justify or explain my long list of issues, how I was feeling, or stress how much it affects me day to day. We were all there to step out of our normal struggles, renew our spirits, and support one another, unwaveringly.  

​With the guidance of my fellow veterans, some amazing volunteers, and cargo pockets full of faith and a little bit of, “screw it, how much worse can I get,” I geared up and hit the snow with my instructor, Betsey. She was patient and encouraging, full of spirit and guidance. All of the things I hadn’t been with myself in far too long. From the moment we hit the mountain it was magic. My boots and skis practically carried me and for the first time in over 10 years I felt weightless. My body wasn’t riddled with stress and pain. The never-ending tree lines seemed to oxygenate my worries right out of my very being. It wasn’t just therapy for my physical pain but my mental anguish as well. I shared that to share this…
​
I realized the importance of what I had gained. Learning to ski with the WSC successfully and positively altered how I view my mental health, my physical abilities, and myself. While the WSC is designed for veterans with designated disabilities, this same camaraderie is seen throughout other programs and sub-communities all over the world. Regardless of who your tribe is or the cultures you identify with, support and kinship are out there. It was an experimental process that led me towards accepting and embracing the things I am still capable of. Putting in the work and taking risks, lead me to the realization that adaptive sports just so happens to be one of my tribes. Learning this has been an invaluable asset to my self-care and the future I am building.
A note about Symphony:
   I started writing Symphony after a late-night conversation with a dear friend and fellow Marine. He was grieving and processing the loss of a childhood friend and fellow Marine who had committed suicide. He and I had shared calls like these before. Too often. 22 veteran suicides a day and rising.
​   Symphony is dedicated to all of those whose battles never ended, for the minds that have difficulty resting, for those feeling attacked by their physical health, for those that feel alone, for those who are having trouble connecting with the world and themselves. Whether you are a veteran, a caretaker, or someone who has struggles lingering from your own experiences, Symphony is for you. You are not alone.


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These ceramic combat boots by USMC veteran and artist, Maria Salazar, are a heartfelt tribute to all service members who have lost their lives in combat. You can follow her work & upcoming exhibits on FB: @ofArtnSoul & IG: @of_artnsoul

Symphony

​Many nights
​I wish​ 
I could write a symphony

Strong enough to overcome the demons of my past
Beautiful enough to heal my pain
Enraged enough to settle my scores
Calm enough to soothe my soul
 
I wish I could write a symphony
One longer than the Nile
With enough stamina to climb the highest summits
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That could sing my secrets
Through those coded notes
Lyric-less
Tip-tapping in Morse code
On what was once an innocent
And unknowing page
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That cures tragic days
That travels with me
A ready companion
When I want to run away
 
I wish I could write a symphony
Cunning enough to convince me to stay
Aiding in my recollection
Of all the times music saved the day
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That doesn’t bother preaching
Forgive and forget
But rather just lets me feel
What it is that flows through my veins
The 60,000 miles of bleeding ink
That keeps me sane
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That loves me right
At any minute
Of any hour
Of any day 
​Always ready to comfort
The most stubborn
And the most troubled
The most arrogant
And the most wanting
Parts of me
 
A symphony
That lets me cry without judging
Or reminding me
Of the unbroken spirit
I used to be
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That is capable of melting
All of the ice-cold walls
That have been built
 
I wish I could write a symphony
That would make Beethoven’s ghost whisper my name
 
And, well...
I wish I could write a symphony
That could be a cure-all
 
I wish I could write a symphony
For me
 
On most days
 
But today
During your trying times
 
I wish I could write a symphony
And play it
Just for you





​
​*While Symphony is debuting on my blog, it will be found in my upcoming book of poetry,
Athena. More info coming soon! ​

Resources for those in need:

*Veteran Crisis Line 
1-(800) 273-8255 (press 1)
Online live chat available

*National Suicide Prevention Lifeline**
1-(800) 273-8255
Online live chat available.
**Available links and designated information for specific cultural groups, including: Youth, loss survivors, Spanish speakers, disaster survivors, LGBTQ+, Native Americans, attempt survivors, and the deaf/hearing impaired. 
​

*International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)
Click here for an interactive map that allows you to search by continent for the closest crisis center!


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    Upcoming Release:
    ​Athena​

    Follow the evolution of my 1st full length poetry manuscript, Athena, book one in a five book series. Throughout my blog you can also find writing prompts, personal book club picks, and other creative inspiration.

    I invite readers to join me in building acceptance over tolerance, overcoming adversities, engaging in thoughtful communication, & sharing their experiences/views.

    Thank you!
    - Melody Norton 
     

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  • Home
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